Just a Dream
by winterliewsound
Summary: When she woke up, the first thing she realized was the acrid taste in her mouth. Suddenly, there was screaming from outside her door. Miku bolted upright in her bed so quickly she almost passed out from the migraine she received. She blinked open her eyes, expecting to find herself in her bedroom. Miku wanted to scream as she tried to comprehend everything around her. Wow, 400views
1. A Dream Between Worlds

CHAPTER 1

Miku collapsed onto her bed, exhausted. She had performed for three hours straight along with the rest of the Crypton Family. Everything had been a blur. The lights, the loud music, the audience's screams, the constant nagging of her manager. She could just lay in bed and never wake up the next morning. Next door, she could hear the twin's voices though too muffled to make out their words. _It must be nice,_ she thought, _to always have someone by your side._

Miku often wondered about them for long periods of time. Being so different from each other yet so similar. One so optimistic, so cheerful and her laugh can make about anyone smile and listen without getting tired of it, the other shy yet full of energy and likes to compete with the other.

Outside her door, she could hear Meiko talking with Luka as they ate snacks together in the kitchen. After a while their footsteps could be heard as they exited the kitchen and into the living room to watch tv together. Miku envied them. She hadn't return from a single concert without feeling so exhausted and weary, yet the others seemed to go on just fine. Kaito had just finished his one hour hot bath and received a scolding from Meiko for being in the bathroom for so long.

After laying in her bed for so long, Miku gathered up the last of her strength and struggled to fit into her pajamas. She could've passed for a zombie tied up with clothes. Finally, she dived under her blankets and fell in the trance of sleep. Before blacking out, she vaguely remembered that she hadn't brushed her teeth or let loose her twin-tails. But none of that matters now as she fell into the comforting land of dreams.

...

When she woke up, the first thing she realized was the acrid taste in her mouth. _How long was I out for?_

She stirred in her bed. The morning was especially chilly and she tugged her blanket higher over her shoulders. For some reason which she hadn't noticed the night before, her blanket seemed no thinner than a towel and she could feel her bare legs touching each other though she could've sworn that she bad put on her favourite comfy PJs with the long cut.

Another thing she realized was that her breathing was especially weak and when she pulled her thin blanket up, her arms felt like wooden chopsticks about to break. _Must be from the performance last night,_ she thought drowsily, though she had never experienced anything like this before.

Suddenly there was screaming from outside her door. Miku bolted upright in her bed so quickly that she nearly passed out from the migraine she received. She blinked open her eyes, expecting to find herself in her bedroom but instead saw that she was in a mostly empty room, nearly the size of her bathroom. What she thought was sunlight filtering through her windows actually came from a single light bulb dangling from the ceiling which provided the only source of light since there were no windows in the room. She was on a bed of pure white sheets and beside it was a wooden chest of drawers with a digital clock and a small capsule containing red pills. On one side of the room was a wooden closet. There was a desk placed beside it and on it was a few sheets of paper and colour pencils with a lamp. The walls were painted like you would expect from a kindergarten classroom, green grass, blue sky, a big yellow sun in one corner with a smiley face and all sorts of animals smiling through the walls.

Miku wanted to scream as she tried to comprehend everything around her. It's like she's in an orphanage though she's pretty sure orphans slept together in dorms. The place had an eerie feeling to it, and she felt like there's someone watching her. She looked down and threw off her blanket and realized that she was in a simple white dress with a pink wool sweater on. She shuddered. Cold air blew from the old radio-looking air conditioner in the corner of the room.

The screaming came again and Miku's goosebumps raised. She felt tears coming to her eyes. Never had she felt so lost, so helpless, so frightened.

Then she heard footsteps coming towards her door which had a slider at the top. Miku felt a tingling sensation up her back at the thought of someone peeking in, looking at what she's doing at any moment. Then keys jangled and the person outside fitted one and unlocked the door. Miku held her breath, not sure what to expect as the knob turned and the door opened.

A woman in a long nurse uniform came in. On her head was those old-fashioned nurse hats they used back in the 1900s and her greying hair was tied back into a bun. Her face looked stern as if she had frowned once too often. She was carrying a tray with what looked like mashed potatoes on it and orange juice. She put the keys back into her nurse coat and her face softened as she looked at Miku as if she pitied her. She came to her bed and placed the tray on the drawers before taking the capsule and opening it.

"Alright, little Miku," she mumbled as if talking to herself. "Time for your pills. Don't make this hard for me. You're not the only child I have to feed in this asylum."


	2. Horrible Reality

CHAPTER 2

Miku wished that this was all just a nightmare. She wanted to go back to sleep and wake up back in her teal-themed bedroom. But she could tell from the way that her sweat stuck her clothes uncomfortably on her back and the shivers she got from the shouting of children outside her door, she knew that this was all real. The nurse dropped two pills onto her palm and brought it to Miku's mouth.

"What is that?" Miku jerked her head back before the nurse could shove it into her mouth.

The nurse sighed impatiently as if children asked her what the pills are everyday. "Just candy, my dear. Open your mouth and it'll be over soon."

"Shouldn't I eat breakfast first _then_ take the pills?" Miku clearly remembered the time when she had fallen ill and Meiko advised her to always take her antibiotics after her meals.

However, instead of replying, the nurse held the back of Miku's head with one hand as a support and shoved the pills into her mouth with the other. Miku was so surprised that she instantly swallowed the red pills. She looked up in horror at the nurse, wondering what she had just eaten.

"Now for breakfast." The nurse picked up the tray and scooped up mashed potatoes with the spoon.

"Wait, wait." Miku tried to hold back her tears and waved her hands in front of her mouth so that the nurse couldn't shove anything else into her mouth. "Can I at least brush my teeth first?" She knew that the acid in her mouth isn't good and could feel the uncomfortable hot breath emitting from her mouth as she talked and could literally taste her saliva.

"You're so insistent today," the nurse sighed.

"I can feed myself, you know," Miku crossed her arms and pouted. The tears nearly streaming down her face.

"Alright, alright. Don't give me those eyes. Though I doubt you can make it to the bathroom and back by yourself."

"What do you mean?"

The nurse stood up and walked over to the front of her bed, she picked up the clipboard hanging there. "By the looks of it, the last time you were awake was two days ago." The nurse traced her fingers on the board as she read it. "Though you were a little conscious enough to take your pescriptions."

Miku was so stumped she couldn't say anything. "I was asleep for two days?" she said in disbelief.

The nurse walked back to the side of her bed and offered her her hand. "So, do you want to use that restroom or not?"

As much as Miku wanted her questions answered, she couldn't bear the taste and smell of her disgusting breath anymore and she had an urge to pee. The nurse helped her get out of bed and she nearly toppled over. Her legs felt so weak, they were shaking. Miku gasped for breath and struggled the rest of the way to the bathroom with the nurse supporting her. The bathroom was just across the short hallway from Miku's room and she was glad that she didn't have to walk so far. She didn't see anyone else as she made her way, though she could hear voices coming from down the hallway that had three other doors. Two of the doors were open and light was flooding out of the room, the other was closed. All three of them had the sliders like her own.

After relieving herself (with the help of the nurse, embarrassingly), Miku made her way to the sink. The nurse was outside the bathroom, respecting her privacy though ready to come in at any time. A mirror was placed above the sink and Miku desperately made her way over to it, wanting to see how she looked like. After what seemed like forever (with her shaking legs and all), she reached the sink and looked up in the mirror. What she saw horrified her.

She expected to see the face that everyone had grown to love. The face that made all Vocaloids recognizable. That cute, beautiful, perfect face. But instead what she saw was the total opposite. What caught her attention first was her eyes. So big, that she almost looked like a bug. They were placed too close together and as if they couldn't get bigger enough, they widened as she looked at herself for the first time. Her face was heart-shaped, though her forehead looked normal her chin narrowed down too small. And her nose, so small, so straight down her face and ended up as a tiny bubble at the nostrils. Her fringe drooped in greasy bangs down her forehead and her twin-tails were still left on, but her hair wasn't luscious anymore. They fell over her shoulders, thin and oily. The teal colour she had seen so many times were dull.

Suddenly, she lost it. She doubled over and cried so hard that she started cackling like an evil witch. The tears streamed down her face like an over-flooded river. Her heart hurt so much she gripped her chest. She wished desperately that this was all just a nightmare. A horrible, realistic nightmare.


	3. Part of the Truth

CHAPTER 3

The nurse had rushed in when she heard Miku half crying and half laughing. Miku vaguely remembered her face had a look of horror and anxiety...and fear? After Miku was able to calm down, brush her teeth and wash her face, she retreated back to her room with the nurse following her from behind. She had insisted to her that she was capable of walking by herself now and the pills had seemed to give her a bit of strength and stop her migraine.

She climbed back into her bed and sat there, leaning against her pillow and staring at her hands - so thin and so fragile, a bit crooked also.

"What's happening to me?" she stammered. She looked up at the nurse, waiting for her response.

The nurse just shook her head and sighed impatiently. "I can't believe I have to deal with you every time you wake up, but this time it seems like this is the worse."

"Explain to me!" Miku screamed. She slammed her palms against her bed. The tears didn't seem it could stop. "I need to know. What's going on?"

"Eat your breakfast. I'll send in someone else to take care of you later." And with that, the nurse walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Miku growled in frustration. Reluctantly, she picked up the tray from the nightstand beside her bed and ate in small bites. The mashed potatoes tasted so bland and mushy, the gravy was too sweet. She chugged down the orange juice. She remembered Rin, who would drink orange juice every morning and eat freeze-dried marshmallows with her cereal. Her heart ached at the thought of the young girl.

After finishing her breakfast, Miku picked up the capsule containing the red pills and examined it. It was just a light-proof bottle with nothing on it that could tell her what the red pills in it are for. She placed it back on the nightstand. She hadn't learnt much since she had woken up. She imagined what she would do right now, back in her old life. Luka would be cooking breakfast by the oven and Kaito would be lounging on the couch or consume the food in the fridge. Meiko would be on her laptop, searching for the latest gossip and the twins would probably be play-fighting as usual at the table. Miku, on the other hand, would be in the shower for an hour and spend a good 20 minutes picking out her outfit for the day.

She wiped the tears off her eyes. She wondered if there was any way she could return to that life.

There was a knock on her door and another nurse one looked younger, probably in her mid twenties, she wore the same nurse uniform except her hair was in a ponytail and she didn't wear the nurse hat. "How are you, Miku?" she smiled. She looked sweet and kind, Miku highly hoped that this one would give her some explanation.

"Where am I?" Miku asked. "What am I doing here? I don't understand anything!"

"Calm down, Miku." The nurse moved the chair at the desk over to her bed. "I don't get to see you very often and I prefer your company over other kids'."

"Please explain to me what's going on," Miku sobbed, she wiped her face again.

"Hey, don't cry." The nurse grabbed some Kleenex from the tissue box at her nightstand. She dabbed at Miku's wet cheeks. "You're in Dr. Swift's Asylum. As in how you got here, I don't have a clue, though Amy had told me when you arrived here that the new girl came from a troubled family and was experiencing traumas in her life." She shook her head sadly. "I feel really sorry for you."

"But then why don't I remember anything? The nurse just now said that I had been sleeping for two days," Miku said.

"After you came here, you started hurting yourself." The nurse nodded at Miku's hands.

She turned her wrists towards her face and saw that there were scars there - years old. The scars looked deep and criss-crossed the length of her forearm.

"The doctors and psychiatrists tried their best to stop you and determine what caused you to do it." She paused.

"And...?" Miku urged.

"I honestly don't know what happened next," the nurse admitted. "I heard from the older nurses that the doctors started injecting some sort of medicine into you. After that, you started exploding into tantrums and knocking down everything in sight. When the presence of a person is with you, you attempted to kill them. But all that only lasted for two hours. So after about a week with the tantrums not getting any better, they decided to put you in a straightjacket every time before they inject the medicine."

Miku was shaking, not from the cold this time. She was so dumbstruck as she stared at the scars on her wrists, trying to absorb everything in.

"I'm sorry if this is all too hard to take in," the nurse said sympathetically. "If you want, I can leave you by yourself."

From the way she said it, the nurse seemed to understand what's she's facing, and Miku wanted to know why. But all that information was too much to absorb in one morning.

"When will you come back?" Miku said softly.

"I'm mostly assigned to the younger children in the asylum, but I will request to Amy if I can accompany you again." She stood up and placed the chair back at the desk. She walked quietly out of the room and closed the door, she didn't lock it though but Miku was so consumed in her own thoughts she hadn't noticed.

 _Me? Hurt someone?_ she thought as she raised her palms to her face. She was shaking all over. _What exactly is happening to me?_


	4. Pieces of the Puzzle Part I

**I hope you guys really enjoyed my story here. More surprises are on the way. Please support the story with reviews.**

CHAPTER 4

The digital clock on her nightstand told her that she had been sitting on her bed for almost two hours, just thinking about what the young nurse had said, who's Amy, what's she doing at this place and whether or not this life was real. She couldn't help wondering about her friends back in the apartment room they had for themselves. She could clearly remember all of their faces and yet they seemed so distant.

Once her legs had gotten the pins and needles Miku got out of bed. Her thin legs were still wobbly but they had already regained most of their strength back from the pills and breakfast. She walked towards the wooden desk where sheets of paper were strewn across it. Curious, she picked up one of them and smiled as if reliving an old memory. On the paper was a coloured drawing of a teal-haired girl with a rabbit beside her. Her hair was tied in twin-tails and she was smiling happily. She was holding a carrot. A yellow sun shone at the corner of the paper and the green grass was spiky underfoot.

She picked up another one but this time, her smile vanished. The same teal-haired twin-tailed girl was there but she had tears drawn down her face. Behind the girl seemed to be like two adults fighting each other, the woman held a knife and seemed to be trying to stab the man who had a beer bottle in his hand, coming down towards the woman's head. Miku started breathing heavily. The breathlessness seemed to be coming to her more and more often and she must learn to get used to it. The picture looked like it might have been drawn by a six-year-old and judging by the crumpled edges, it was drawn years ago.

Miku shifted the papers on the desk one by one, hoping to find anything else that might have been useful. The dozens of other papers had nothing but drawings of the same girl, all of them happy - playing by a lake, eating with other children, sleeping under a starry sky and going to the zoo. When shehe reached the last one, what she saw shocked her and she needed to bring it up closer to her face to make sure she's seeing it right. The teal-haired girl was singing with a mic in her hand. On one side of her was a pink-haired girl who looked almost exactly like Luka. On her other side were scribbly drawings of the twins. A blue-haired man was eating an ice cream and a lady dressed in red was beside him. At the bottom of the page, written in alternative rainbow colours for each word, said 'My Family'. And at the bottom right corner, nearly too small to be seen was someone else's handwriting that wrote 'Hatsune Miku, 7 years old'.

Miku folded the paper and tucked it in her pink sweater pocket. She was breathing really heavily now. Her eyes felt too swollen to bring more tears but she could feel them watering.

 _It can't be._

Miku felt like she was getting further and further away from her friends with each new discovery. She shook her head to dismiss the thought.

She walked towards the closet and opened it, hoping that this place was at least kind enough to give her nice clothes. On one of the inner side of the door was an oval-shaped mirror, placed too high so that Miku could only see her greasy forehead. The racks were kind of disappointing. She shifted the dresses on the hangers. One was a pretty turquoise colour with white polka dots, another was a simple green dress too small for her. There was also a thick coat there, probably for when the temperature dropped low. At the end of the racks was a white jacket with too many buttons and zips. The sleeves are too long and there were also half a dozen metal buckles. It took Miku a moment to realize that what she was examining at was a straightjacket. She quickly shut that side of the closet and examined the other. There were shoes at the bottom and more clothes on shelves. At the uppermost shelf was a tiny box, like a jewellery box, though it looked so familiar...

Before Miku could process where she had seen the box or move the chair from the desk to the closet, the door opened and the young nurse came back in.

"So you managed to get out of bed," she said, there was no strictness or unkindness in her voice, just sadness.

"What else can you tell me?" Miku demanded. She was tired of chasing her own tail, trying her hardest yet not getting any closer to the truth.

"Sit back down on your bed." The nurse sat down beside Miku and stared at the wall, as if deciding what else she could tell Miku.

"You said they put me in a straightjacket..." Miku reminded her.

The nurse nodded. "Yes," she continued. "And after a few months your tantrums started to get better, you wanted to kill other people less frequently though the outbursts were unexpected. But there was a side effect."

"Side effect?" Miku repeated. "Like I turned into a bunny or a bear?"

"No, you started sleeping more often than usual."

"What?!" Miku cried.

"Sometimes you would sleep for 12 hours, sometimes eighteen. The more the drugs were injected into you the longer you slept. The longest you slept was for two weeks."

Miku couldn't believe her ears. "So my mind was in a state of comatose?"

The nurse just replied, "I don't know the details, my dear. After a year they stopped injecting the golden liquid into you as they were afraid you'll sleep too long. Another year passed and they started to prescribed to you those red pills." She nodded her head towards the capsule. "For strength, they said."

"But what happened when I woke up?"

"I'm sorry, dear. I didn't normally get assigned to you during those times, so I don't know. What I do know, is that you will have amnesia every single time you wake."

The words hit Miku like a bullet. Does that mean her life as a pop star never existed? Miku desperately wished that wasn't true. She closed her eyes and curled her fists tightly until her knuckles turned white.

"Do you want me to stop?" The nurse asked as she placed her hand on Miku's shoulder.

As desperately as Miku wanted her to stop, as desperately as she wanted all this to be fake, she knew that she needed to hear the truth. "No, go on."


	5. Pieces of the Puzzle Part II

CHAPTER 5

"What else can you tell me?" Miku asked cautiously.

The nurse looked nervous. "Every time you woke up, I heard stories from the other nurses about you. They said once, you woke up thinking you were an actress, waking up and then demanding to see your 'manager'." There was a hint of amusement in her voice. Miku felt annoyed that the nurse could think that that was funny. "Another time you woke up thinking you were a lioness. I think it's best I don't tell you what you did to the other children. So, you get the picture. What did you dream of this time?"

The way the nurse talked to her like it was nothing serious, the way she talked to her as if she was a little kid and as if this was normal, made Miku snap.

"Dream of? How do I know what's real and what's not? Do you know how frustrating it is to wake up and not understanding anything? Not knowing what you did before you went to bed and wondering how long you'll be asleep for this time?" she cried. The tears began flooding her eyes again and she wept.

Just thinking about her old life - no, her _dream_ \- made Miku sob louder. Rin, Len, Luka, Meiko, Kaito. Her friends, her _family_. Were they all a dream too? All the moments they had spent together, from the moment of her debut up to last night had been a dream come true. She shook her head violently, still refusing to believe that her family was all just a dream but she could feel her stubbornness ebbing away as it gave way to a bit of acceptance. The thought made her wail louder.

"It's getting better."

Miku stopped and spun around to face her door where a man in a formal suit stood. He was roughly in his 40s with dyed blonde hair and specs. Miku stared at him, unable to understand who this man was, much to her growing frustration.

"Dr. Swift," the nurse greeted him.

 _This man must be the one who owns this asylum_ , Miku thought, remembering what the nurse had told her a few hours before. Dr. Swift regarded the nurse with a nod of his head. "Gladys, I see this is your first time acquainting Miku after she woke up."

"Yes, sir."

Miku got out of bed and stood defiantly at the doctor with her chin up. "What's going on?" she nearly screamed. She balled her hands into fists and had the urge to punch the man in the face. _No_ , she thought, _they'll just put me back in that straightjacket and probably inject me with medicine._

"Miku, I know this is very confusing for you, but until you're older, you won't understand what we did for you."

" _What?!"_

"It's a very complicated procedure. One you have endured for nearly six years, and all of that for your own benefit. But I see now that you are improving greatly after your long sleep. I just hope you won't wake up with amnesia the next time so poor Gladys wouldn't have to repeat her story all over again."

"Me, sir?" Gladys said from the bed.

"Yes, from now on you will be assigned to take care of Miku." Dr. Swift put his hands in his pockets and rummaged through it as if he was trying to find something. "Oh dear, I must've lost the key," he mumbled to himself. "Anyway, Miku, please get as comfortable as you like, and meet the other children for the hundredth time. And please, don't attack them or sexually assault them anymore."

"What-"

"I'll check on you again tonight." With that, he exited the room and walked down the hallway, his shoes echoing off the walls.

Miku was shaking with rage. If someone could explain everything to her, _he_ could but he obviously thought her too young and afraid that she would wake up with amnesia again so his lazy ass would have to explain everything to her once again.

"Would you like to meet the other children?" Gladys offered uncertainly.

Miku wanted to snap at her, she wanted to punch someone, _anyone_. But she restrained herself and forced herself to calm down. No point in getting angry at Gladys, she was just trying to help. "Yeah, sure." She shrugged.

...

Gladys brought her to a living room at the end of the hallway. The living room was no bigger than her own room with a sofa, a tv, a cupboard and a playmat on the floor. Four children were there, all seemed to be around her age and maybe slightly older.

"I'll leave you alone. You know where your own room is," Gladys said and turned to leave.

Miku was left alone in the doorway, staring uncertainly at the children. For the first time since she woke up, she had _never_ felt so scared, of children nevertheless. She reminded herself that these children were just like her, normal human beings. But yet, _not_ like her. One of the younger ones was trying to chew off a teddy bear's ear and snarled at anyone who got too close. Another was sitting gloomily on the sofa, staring at her feet and muttering something under her breath. There seemed to be only two sane ones in the room, but Miku reminded herself that if they were sane, they wouldn't be in the asylum.

"Hello there," one of them, a boy with dark brown hair, said. He was sitting on the ground and leaning on the couch while watching the tv. He invited her inside with a wave of his hand. Miku stood beside him uncertainly, unsure of whether he'll be comfortable if she sat beside him. "It's alright," he said and patted the ground beside him. Miku sat down, aware of the gloomy girl beside her. "Don't worry about Aphrodite. She won't hurt anyone."

"I guess I'm more worried about you," Miku said nervously.

"Sorry, should've introduced myself first. I always forget you woke up with amnesia. My name's Thomas."

"So you know my name then?"

"Of course, almost everyone here knows your name. Probably. Miku right?" he said. Miku should've felt uneasy about this boy knowing so much about her, but instead she felt strangely unnerved. He gave her such a charming smile that he almost reminded her of Kaito, _almost._

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but what are you doing here?" she asked nervously. She felt her own hands sweating as she saw his face slowly changed to guilt.

"It's not a story I'm proud of." He unrolled his long sleeves and Miku noticed there were scars around his wrists, as if someone had tied a rope too tightly around it. She looked at him in horror and noticed there were also several scratch marks there, she hoped that she hadn't caused that. "Dad was a drug addict, mom left me since I was born. When I was five, Dad must've thought that I wasn't worthy of his attention. He thought that I was mentally ill."

Miku couldn't help but notice that his eyes held a deep sadness despite his charming smile from earlier.

 _"_ So he tied me up and put me in a dark room while he was out during the night. I would struggle against the rope until blood would seep from under it." He paused to cover up his scars again. "During the day, I would sometimes escape and play outside. But I must return in the evenings for dinner that he was kind enough to prepare. Baked beans, every night. Meals were only once a day. But one day, I ran away far enough that some people found me and sent me to an orphanage."

"And then you started terrorizing the orphans about your story and they sent you to this stinking asylum." The other kid who Miku thought was sane finally spoke. She was drawing on a sheet of paper, humming on a tune which Miku thought she had heard before.

"Shut up, Naomi. Am I telling the story, or you are?"

"I would gladly," Naomi said without looking up. She had straight dark hard, cut short on her shoulders. She would've looked pretty if it weren't for the bandage on her left eye.

Miku wondered what could've happened to her. But before she could ask, Naomi spoke first. "I'd rather you recover from your amnesia first before telling you _my_ story. Tom had been telling his to you for the eleventh time like he was proud of it."

"I clearly said I wasn't proud of it at the beginning of the story," Thomas countered though there was no anger in his voice, just calm playfulness.

"Whatever."

Miku sighed. She wished she could at least be like them. Not waking up and having absolutely no memory except from the dream. The girl, Aphrodite, suddenly stirred and broke out into a chorus of gibberish talking. Miku felt so scared she scooted away from her and squeezed up to Thomas.

"She does that every once in a while," Felix said, shifting so that there was space in between them again. "Don't worry, she's harmless."

"Ironic, isn't it?" Naomi mumbled. "Having a name from a goddess of love yet no one loves you."

"Naomi!"

"Sorry."

Thomas sighed. "Anyway, are you hungry?"

Miku's belly grumbled at the thought of food. She hadn't eaten since breakfast and even that wasn't enough. "Starving," she admitted.

"Come on, then," Thomas got up and walked towards the door. "Naomi?"

"No, thanks."

"Suit yourself."

Naomi continued to draw as she hummed her tune. Only when Miku walked out of the room did Naomi sang louder and Miku realized she _did_ know the song. That's because she had sung it herself.

 _Don't let them know. I won't say goodbye before I go..._


	6. Treats in the Afternoon

**Okay, I admit, Thomas wasn't a really good name but I ran out of ideas...**

CHAPTER 6

Thomas brought Miku to the other end if the hallway where they entered into what seemed to be the main room of the floor. On the right was a caged-off space with a man sitting at the desk reading a newspaper, he was guarding a set of double doors which Miku guessed must be the main entrance. The room was fairly empty except with a few seats, a wooden coffee table and a shelf containing books. On the yellow-painted walls, framed children's drawings were hung. There were doors on every side of the room, leading off to hallways in every direction. There was even a door to an elevator.

Thomas led Miku to the door across the wide room. Upon entering the dining room, sweet scents hit her nose. Even in an asylum, the people here sure knew how to cook - much to the contrary to her boring breakfast. Another nurse was sitting at the dining table, checking on her cell phone while a small kid sat beside her eating his porridge. Thomas walked over to a long table at the end of the room where there were all sorts of assortments of biscuits, freshly-baked bread and salads. The sight of it made Miku's mouth water and she couldn't resist picking up a cream-stuffed biscuit and shoving it into her mouth. The sweet taste spread over her tongue like honey. Miku wondered when was the last time she had eaten something so sweet. Not in her _dream_ , of course. She had eaten candies and chocolate there everyday and even stolen some of Kaito's ice cream and Rin's orange-flavored candy, much to her dismay and getting Len accused of. The thought of them made Miku's stomach growl louder, and not because she would like to eat them. Ice cream Kaito, orange-flavored Rin and possibly banana-flavored Len. She couldn't describe it but just thinking about them and missing them so much just made her stomach sink.

"I heard that." Thomas grinned. He picked up a plate at the end of the table and handed it to Miku before picking one up for himself. "Dig in."

"Don't take too much, Thomas," the nurse by the table warned. "Leave some for the other kids."

"Don't worry, Jenny. This one gets a special treatment." He winked his hazel-brown eyes at Miku. She hated to admit it but she felt her heart skip a beat and her cheeks burn. The nurses here obviously trusted Thomas and that made Miku wondered further why he was still stuck in the asylum.

After filling her plate full of cinnamon bread, scones, Oreos, giant peanut-flavored cookies (kept in a separate container as Thomas explained some kids had allergies), they made their way back to the living room where Naomi was now switching channels on the tv and the kid who was chewing off his bear was gone. The girl Aphrodite was on the playmat at the far side of the room now, doing some yoga poses.

"Would you like some?" Thomas offered his plate to Naomi but she just waved it off.

Miku sat on the sofa and started engulfing her food. After practically breathing in everything on her plate, she slouched on the sofa and relaxed a bit more. Naomi looked at her, a hint of relief on her face.

"What's wrong?" Miku asked her.

"Well," Naomi started. "Normally, you weren't much different from Aphrodite." Aphrodite belched from her place on the playmat. "You were mumbling nonsense to yourself and I couldn't talk to you without you freaking out."

Now that was cringe-worthy. "I'm really sorry," Miku said. "At least the amnesia is good for one thing."

Naomi actually laughed. "It'll be good if you woke up like this the next time. Just, without the amnesia."

Miku smiled at her. She felt a stomachache starting up from eating so much but she decided to ignore it. She hadn't felt this good since waking up. Then her smile vanished as she realized what Naomi had sung earlier. The eye-patch girl was still switching channels on the tv, looking for something entertaining to watch.

"Naomi," Miku started carefully. "Just now, you hummed something, I seemed to recover a bit of something from my lost memories, what was it that you hummed?"

Naomi looked surprised that Miku had asked something like that. "Well, it's not really that important, is it?"

"Actually, it is." Miku's tone had grown serious. If she knew where that song came from, she would probably understand a bit of her dreams.

"It's - um..." Naomi trailed off. "Rather than explaining, I guess I'll show it to you. If only I remember that channel..." She continued switching through.

Thomas had grown silent as he listened to their conversation. He finally spoke. "The channel's been banned, remember? That's why you weren't watching it anymore? The nurses said it was a bad influence on the other kids."

"Bummer," Naomi muttered as she settled for Cartoon Network which also should've been banned. "I really loved that channel."

"Yeah, well, maybe it won't be so good for the other children."

Miku felt deeply disappointed. "But, I _must_ know. It can explain my latest dream!"

"What was it about?" Thomas asked.

Miku hesitated. She didn't want to tell anyone yet about her experience. She was just gone for only two days and her whole pop-star life had seemed so long-lasting and real. She didn't want to go deep into that subject yet.

"I rather not tell you, yet," Miku said. "Not until I can figure things out."

Thomas nodded in understanding. "This memory loss thing must be hard on you. Don't worry, I won't push you."

Naomi flicked away her fringe which was coming over her face. "I'll try to persuade the nurses tonight if they can un-ban that channel for you. Assuming you don't wake up with amnesia." Miku smiled at her gratefully and Naomi's face flushed and she quickly looked away. "I would like to watch it too," she muttered.

For some reason, Naomi reminded her a bit of Luka. She can't explain why, maybe it's because of her shyness (or just plain quietness, plus a bit of bitterness) at first. When she was with her a little longer, Naomi started lightening up to her. Luka was more or less like that.

"Miku." Gladys knocked on the door of the living room. "Dr. Swift would like to see you in his office."

Despite her happiness from earlier, the familiar feeling of anger and bitterness rested into her stomach once more. Dr. Swift was the last person she would like to meet.

"Bye, guys," she mumbled as she pushed off the sofa, handed her plate to Gladys and followed her as she led her to Dr. Swift's office on the second floor.


	7. His Name?

**Mistakes have been corrected in the fifth chapter. Thank you for reaching 400 views, guys.**

CHAPTER 7

They took the stairs to the second floor. The room on the second floor - smaller than the room on the first floor - looked more depressing than the first. Potted plants and portraits of natural scenery were placed around the room in a failed attempt to make the place more cheerful. The only furniture that occupied the room was an old leather sofa that looked about ten years old. Gladys led Miku down a hallway on the right and turned the corner to a single door at the end. She knocked on it before Dr. Swift opened it.

"Ah, Miku, there you are," Dr. Swift welcomed her in and Gladys retreated down the hallway. "I haven't called you into my office for a really long time. Please, come in and take a seat."

Miku entered the room cautiously. The office smelled like men's perfume with the usual theme of failed attempts of reducing depression. There was a desk with his computer and a framed picture of what seemed like his family. On a shelf suspended above his desk were capsules of different kinds of pills and liquids. Miku wasn't sure whether she should be afraid of the syringe on his desk more or the blood spill on the floor beside a recliner chair.

"Don't worry about the blood," Dr. Swift said. "There's a teen in this floor who won't stop crying blood. His eyes will never look bloodier."

Miku wasn't sure what to make of that. She sat on the chair as Dr. Swift took a seat on his desk chair, facing her. "So, Miku. How do you feel?"

Miku wasn't sure what to reply. "What do you mean how do I feel?"

"Well, other than confusion and scared. And bitterness and resentment towards me, how do you _feel?_ Headache? Stomachache? Dizziness?" he urged.

Miku gripped the ends of the chair as she felt anger surging inside her. "I'm fine!" she snapped.

"If you say so," Dr. Swift sighed. "May I?" He pulled out a stethoscope from his coat pocket (which was always pocking out of it) and brought the end to the teal-haired girl's heart as he listened to it on the other side. Miku cringed as he slipped his hand under her sweater and placed the stethoscope near her breast, her thin white dress did not help her. Finally the doctor placed the stethoscope back on the desk. "Your heartbeat seems normal, and as for your eyes..."

Miku had clearly forgotten about how she _really_ looked like in this world. She imagined her bug-eyed image staring at the doctor and cringed.

Dr. Swift apparently thought he'd hit a soft spot. 'You can go back now, Miku,' he said simply. 'Would you want me to accompany you?'

Miku stood up abruptly. 'I'm fine!' She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her, only to find out soon that it opened again.

'Miku,' the doctor called. 'Just remember that we're only here to help you. And,' he coughed into his hand. 'You're still 12.'

The girl stopped in her tracks and the door closed behind her. Miku had a feeling the doctor won't call for her again for a really long time until something drastic happens. She traced her steps back to the lift, heading for her bedroom.

...

Once in her bedroom, Miku sat on the chair at her desk and examined the drawing of her Vocaloid life. She couldn't believe she drew them herself, yet she couldn't believe any of this. She groaned and planted her face in her palms in frustration. She wished she could die from all the stress. She wished there was a pill she could take so she could die. Unless there is...

Miku wondered that if this place was an asylum, there should be a place where they kept all the medicines and vaccines. And among those there may be a death pill for - who knows - very mentally challenged children. The place must be very secure though so it won't fall in the wrong hands - children and even staff members. Dr. Swift also mentioned something about a missing key earlier in the day.

But today was not the time for such plans, it was too early. She would figure it all out tomorrow if she could. And tomorrow would also be the day when Naomi could probably convince one of the nurses to unban her channel. Miku pondered what that would be. She glanced at the digital clock on her nigthstand. 6 o'clock. Time for bath.

Gladys had returned later to assist her before bath and Miku kept insisting that she could handle it by herself despite several protests from the nurse.

'But you could slip and hurt yourself!' Gladys tried for the more rational reason why she should let her bath her.

'Gladys, I'm not a kid.'

'Alright, alright, but what if there's another tantrum again and -'

'There will be _no_ tantrums!'

'But at least leave the door unlock!'

Miku locked the door anyway. She didn't want crazy, psychotic kid rapists intruding.

She started to untie her which she mysteriously kept on before going to bed and took off her clothes and dumped it in a clean corner nearby - which wasn't so clean since there was cobwebs and dustballs. She embraced the warm water it washed over her face and drenched her oily hair. She carefully washed her entire body and her hair. She stayed in the shower for a few more minutes, looking down at her tiny frame, so different from Hatsune Miku in her dream. She pushed the thoughts away, imagining them washing out of her brain and draining into the drainage like the water. She didn't want to think about it anymore. She sighed heavily and stepped out of the shower.

She carefully avoided the mirror, not wanting to see her own face. After drying her hair with a towel and a blow dryer, she took a scrunchy that was hanging at the door peg and tied her hair in a loose ponytail and put on a silky nightgown. At least now she was clean and her hair wasn't oily anymore. She stepped back into the hallway to find Gladys still waiting beside the door. She glared at her.

'Alright, you can take care of yourself.' She put up her hands in surrender. 'Dinner will be waiting for you.' She trudged down the hall, not waiting to see if Miku would follow.

The girl followed her more slowly, wet towel hanging around her neck. Even from there she could hear the noises from the dining room and she wasn't eager to meet other kids from the asylum. The two kids in the living room earlier had scared her enough. She didn't want to meet a crowd of them. However, reluctantly, her hunger won over her fear and reached the room.

Despite the chaotic shouts and screams, there were only around a dozen children there and among them were Naomi and Thomas talking to a much taller boy. The three of them were huddled in the corner, away from the frustrated nurses trying to control the other kids.

As Miku edged her way along the wall towards them, she noticed a kid in a straightjacket sitting at the table, staring into his bowl of soup. He was mumbling something under his breath that Miku would not like to know. She saw two girls, twins probably, running in circles around a nurse, all the while pulling and tugging at each other's red hair. The teal-haired girl self-consciously gathered her own hair and shielded them protectively as she passed them.

'Hey, Miku!' Thomas greeted her. He gestured to the taller boy. 'This is Dakota.'

Dakota gave her a stare, so suspicious that Miku would've convinced herself she really was a serial killer. Then the light in his eyes faded and he smiled.

'Hello, Miku,' he said.

Miku had gotten used to people knowing her. 'This isn't the first time you've seen me, is it?'

'The first time talking to you actually,' Dakota said.

Miku had to admit that Dakota was pretty good-looking, even more than Thomas. He had brilliant blue hair and his eyes were bloodshot red.

'Have you guys eaten?' Miku asked.

'Just gonna get our food later when all the chaos died down,' Thomas replied. He saw a nurse gesturing at them and turned to Dakota. 'Looks like nurse Callie needs our help again with that kid who thinks he's a kind. Come on, Mr Hatsune.'


End file.
